I’ve never been at a loss for things that leave me scratching my head or gouging my eyes out when it comes to what I read on the Internet. There’s just so much stupidity out there just waiting to be discovered.

I spent the entire week trying to figure out why my stupid Apple Time Capsule has all of a sudden decided that it will allow me to access any web site on the Internet except my own. Since I wasn’t writing for this site, I had plenty of time to catch up on the supersize cornucopia of stupid found scattered across the intertubes.

Apple’s iPhone 4 sucks and can’t sustain its popularity, because..

They’ve really just beat these excuses to death, haven’t they? You can’t tether your laptop, your neighbors laptop, your extra cell phone (which already has web access), the desktop across the street, and every other jackass within 150 feet too cheap to get their own smartphone, simply because it costs extra. Never mind the fact that this is AT&T’s decision, not Apple’s.

No Flash on the iPhone means that Apple doesn’t care about the user. Never mind the fact that Flash hasn’t existed on any other phone until very recently (and still doesn’t work worth a damn). No, that doesn’t matter. The fact that Apple’s phone doesn’t have it means the world will surely cease to exist for iPhone users. I mean, how can you possibly justify a phone that doesn’t allow you to view porn at an acceptable quality.

And finally, the douchebags that complained last year because the iPhone didn’t have at least a 5 megapixel camera, and are now complaining that it should have at least a 10 megapixel one. Do you idiots really need that many pixels to take pictures of yourself vomiting at the next big party you attend, or the all-important self-portrait standing in a random street in your town? Buy a friggin’ point-and-shoot camera for cryin’ out loud – the quality is better anyway.

The ever-present “list of XYZ” on your favorite blog

I had hoped this trend would go away. Quickly. Unfortunately, virtually every blog you visit nowadays has been reduced to nothing more than a list of crap you should download, accompanied by a screenshot or icon that surely will entice you into reading further. I don’t mind the occasional list of cool things I’ve not seen before, I’ve even posted a list or two on The Graphic Mac, but these never-ending “CyberDuck, DragThing, Quicksilver” lists are juts getting tired. If the endless blog posts about them weren’t bad enough, we now have every other site on the web offering a bundle of them for $49, too. I call them the “Great Bundle of Shit” sale sites.

Android/Windows zealots and fanboys who leave comments

By far, the number one website that stupid people gravitate toward is TechCrunch. In particular, they seem to be attracted to any article about the iPhone, the Mac or Apple in general.

Show me an article about Apple’s iPhone on TechCrunch and I’ll show you at least one person who insists that rooting your Android phone, hacking some widget, installing an app, and holding down a key combination that requires 12 fingers to do in order to get a screenshot is somehow better on Android than it is on an iPhone, simply because it’s “open.”

Whatever. I like TechCrunch for the most part, but reading the comments is practice for living out your old age in a room with rubber walls.

Draconian Apple practices

And now we move on to the horrific failure known as iTunes 10. As if Apple’s draconian (don’t you love that word?) practices weren’t enough – leaving Facebook logins out of iTunes Ping, they changed the icon. Oh the horror of it all.

I mean, how can you possibly use an application who’s icon has been changed? Don’t you get all confused? And dear lord, the changing of the traffic signals from horizontal to vertical will surely bring doom upon Apple in the near future! If you can put up with those disasters, surely the grayscale-style source list icons will do you in.

Privacy complaining guy

To all the people on Facebook (willingly, by the way) who complain that their privacy is being exploited by Facebook, I offer the simple fix. Bugger-off. Seriously. I know the standard response is to say “they keep your information when you leave,” but I highly doubt ANYONE signs up for Facebook under the impression that nobody anywhere can see what you do on Facebook unless you specifically let them.

So how about you. Got anything that ticks you off that you’re seeing way too often on the web?