I had one of those weeks. You know what I mean, one where every little thing just ticks you off to no end. This week I saw numerous designs that made my stomach churn and burn to the point that I wanted to vomit profusely.
Don't use these photos. Don't tick me off. Just don't do it!
Whatever you do, don’t let me catch you doing any of the following things, or I’ll sneak into your house and delete your internets, beotch!
- Stupid, overused, predictable, “stock photo-y” stock photos – You probably know what I’m talking about, and yet you use them anyway, right? Well friggin STOP! A bunch of ethnically-diverse yuppies dressed in 1980’s business attire doesn’t make your design look more professional. And neither does the infamous business handshake.
- 6pt type on your website – the trend died 10 years ago. It ticks me off, probably because I’m getting older and my eyes aren’t quite what they used to be. But I’m not alone. I promise you, not matter how cool you think it looks, it doesn’t – and everyone hates you for it.
- Screened image behind your text – In about 1989, it was kinda cool to screen a photo behind your entire ad and expect your viewer to accept that 10pt Times New Roman running across a fat guy wearing a black & gold striped shirt was eye-catching. Those people are dead now, real designers systematically killed them off while nobody was looking.
- Dots instead of dashes – here’s another one that’s not hip, cool or even remotely unique. Putting dots between the digits in a phone number is a trend that just won’t seem to die. There’s a reason they chose (100) 867-5309 to represent a phone number. It’s easier to read than 100.867.5309. Get over it! (Thanks Frank, for bringing this up on your Facebook page!)
- Drop shadows on everything – AlienSkin software introduced a simple plugin to add drop shadows to objects and type in Photoshop decades ago. While I love their software, I hate the way so many n00b designers abuse them. If you manage to limit yourself to using only one drop shadow on the cover of your next brochure design, for the love of God, please make sure it’s not on a white background.
- Filter-flurry – Photoshop filters are cool, I love-em dearly. I have dozens of effects filters, hundreds of PS Styles, and a boat-load of PS Actions installed – and still only manage to use them once in a blue-moon (which I actually have an Action file to create, by the way).
- 800×600 website design – Uh, I know you’re 800-year-old instructor in design school told you it was the “standard,” but he’s an ignorant buffoon who hasn’t worked in the business in decades. 800×600 web design was the standard when most people had a 13-15 inch CRT monitor caving-in their desktop. Today, 20-inch LCD screens are the norm, so a 960 to 1100 pixel design width is easily handled by everyone in business, right down to your granny’s crappy little $300 Dell.
- Grey text – So you agree that 6pt type is too small, but you somehow come to the conclusion that 12pt condensed type set in 20% black is the way to go? Gimme a friggin break. Do you WANT people to read it or NOT? At least go with a 40-60% black for crying out loud.
- Not giving the viewer what’s expected – Ok, this is a really fine line. But learn to accept the fact that if you’re selling wood deck stain or sealer, rain drops on a blue background isn’t going to frigging cut it. You’re most likely going to have to put a photo of a impossibly beautiful wood deck in a lush green backyard in the ad. Oh, and make sure you sprinkle the deck down with water first.
Those are just a few things that will surely tick me off, and most likely your viewers as well. Did I miss anything?
Re: Gray text. Umm, it appears the Graphic Mac uses gray text.
Yes. But not 20% gray text, it’s about 70-75% which is more than readable. I was referring to designers who use barely visible (20% or so) body copy. I could even handle 20-30% gray in large, sans-serif headlines, but not body copy.
Nice post. I’ve been trying to avoid the above but for some reason my clients still insists on using the “don’t” guidelines above. It’s always a struggle between telling them what NOT to do but it came to a point where “as long as they are paying me” I just wanna get the job done.
Recently, I’ve encountered a client who wanted me to replace the word “billion” with zeros when the main focus is on the price.
I guess I just have to suck it in and get the job done to pay the bills.
Been a pressman in the printing industry for 37 years and with all the technology today, I still shake my head almost every day at some of the crap that I print. The fonts, layouts and colors just to begin with. Then when they come in and want you to change it on press because it looks terrible. Well good luck with that. I always have to remember the customer is paying. I won’t even start on web designers and how many bad websites are out there. For every 1 or 2 good ones, there are 10 bad ones.
all your reasons pretty much sum up why you have such a horrendous website. Yet I know how much you love it. You are knowledgable about graphic production but you are not a good designer.
@Monkey – First of all, I didn’t “design” this website. It was done for me because I’m just not very good at coding for the web. And though I would love to design something really slick for this site, my main interest is in sharing content – not showcasing my design skills (whether good or bad).
To be honest, I hate the design of this site, and if someone offered to code a new WP theme for me, I would be ecstatic. But I just can’t justify spending the money to have a professional re-design/code done when it serves its purpose beautifully just the way it is.
Second, none of my design work is displayed on this site – I have a personal portfolio site for that.
Just check out your ‘personal portfolio’ http://www..com. It’s funny to see some of your NO-NO pet peeves on your own works. Eg. bad use of drop shadows, dot instead of dash for phone number. Nonetheless, I follow your blog because I learn something from your site.
This site san your silly personal rants would be better. Yes, it’s yours. You can do whatever you want to it.
Well, there’s no fighting off a client who wants a drop shadow – or one with brand standards that includes using dots instead of dashes in a phone number.
a software is certainly not a trend or technique. But if you mention things that contribute to bad design, CorelDraw should be first on the list. CR sucks!
I design for newspaper (I’m sure you know the high quality standards there) and I agree with everything you ranted about.
How about having to design a 2″ x 4″ ad where the client wants 20 bullet points to show how many services he offers. Or bullet points themselves!
Or how about the phrase ” for all of your _______ needs!” (fill in the blank).
Or how about after designing the perfect ad, the client just needs to ad that little extra paragraph DESCRIBING HIS LIFE SO FAR!!
Boy, don’t let ME start…Oh, wait.
Hmm. Left off the “cliché copywriting” (for all of your ____ needs!) – because it should certainly be included.
BTW…I have been following your site for quite a while and want to thank you for all of the (mostly free) valuable info and tips that you offer. Seriously.
You have certainly helped me and, I’m sure, many others through your effort here.
When do you find time to do your own design work?
You have no idea how great it is for me to hear readers say that once in a while. It’s what keeps me motivated.
THANK YOU for reading, and commenting!
I agree with everything you said except for the dots in phone numbers. I think they look fine and are accepted/recognized by most people.
Pica rulers rock!
I love the smell of rubber cement in the morning.
I’m really glad I just converted all dotted phone numbers back to dashes in all of my marketing materials. So you don’t need to delete my internets…
As for the rest of these, what are you trying to do? Make people NOT use 300 year old techniques? But they’re proven by time! Drop shadows and gray text look awesome on a broadsheet nailed to a church door! Next you’ll probably say we should throw out our pica rulers and X-acto knives! Well forget it.