A while back, I ranted about developers, PC writers, bloggers, Microsoft and Mac users in general. Today, I want to chit-chat about the iPhone.
The iPhone, it's the 2nd-coming of Christ. It'll make your stupid kids smarter, your fat-ass smaller, your husband's beer-belly smaller, and your ugly wife hotter! The iPhone makes your e-penis huge like no amount of Viagra can. It'll deposit $100,000 into your bank account today, and it'll eradicate every douchebag in Washington D.C. and replace them with hard-working, honest Americans with the touch of a button.
With all that up-side, it's no wonder that every Web site I visit, I get a heaping helping of iPhone B.S. shoved down my grocery pipe. My RSS reader of choice actually puked on my keyboard this morning, and I'm pretty sure I saw an iPhone Mail icon mixed in the puddle of mush.
Sites I used to love reading are gagging like a cat with a furball in its throat with iPhone articles. Enough already!
TUAW (The Unofficial Apple Weblog) used to be interesting... until the iPhone came along. The last time I looked, 8 out of the 15 articles on the front page were about the iPhone. You may think that's not a bad ratio, but keep in mind that the other 7 articles were somewhere between 3 sentences and 2 paragraphs each of re-hashed press-release material. The iPhone articles, on the other hand, were pooping out some rubbish about how wonderful it was that there was talk of an iPhone app that would (gasp) count down a user-specified amount of time, and discussing the important issue of how much money the developer would make selling the app in the Apple iPhone iTunes iStore - or whatever the heck they're calling it. I call it TMDC, "The Money Down the Crapper" store.
Had a look-see at MacRumors lately? Some little monkey-poop island in the middle of the South Pacific is rumored to be where Apple is having the glue used on the iPhone box made. They're pretty sure it's all accurate - somebody's brother's mother's sister's son stirs the glue pot in between making shoes for 12-cents a day in the sweat shops. This is of great enough importance that MacRumors saw fit to create an iPhone tab which when clicked, brings you all the latest worthless information about the iPhoney-baloney on one mind-numbing page.
Macworld lists 4 of their top 10 stories as iPhart-related dribble. Unfortunately, I read the same information on other sites about two weeks earlier. MacLife (formerly MacAddict) lists 8 iPhell-asleep articles out of 15 total on the home page. Good grief, talk about "addicts."
Look out your window, you'll see a plate of pork flying by. Even John Gruber of DaringFireball is linking to iPhone articles quite often. C'mon John, don't do it. Just say no. Just say iNo. You're too cool for the iPutz - even if it is the 320GB $987 model with only a 137 year contract.
Why can't every site be like The Apple Blog. Only 3 out of 20 articles on the front page mention the iPhutz at the time I checked — and one of them wasn't exactly a fan-boy type of article.
Honest to gosh, what the heck is wrong with people? It's a damn phone. If you somehow convince yourself that you MUST have it, then you're a fool. If your life is so complicated that you need to check your email every two minutes, check your calendar, add some more contacts, check the local weather and find the closest restaurant, then you obviously don't have time to listen to music or look at pictures or watch videos. So why would you spend the $85+ a month it's going to cost you (on top of the iPhone itself)? Here's a better idea. Go grab yourself a Verizon account with a free phone. Spend the time you were going to spend tinkering with the iPhone actually doing something... you know, like accomplishing tasks. Simplify your life. Spend time enjoying it, rather than trying to organize it.
If you just like to have cool gadgets, I totally understand, and you're exempt from the above statements. I'm a tech geek too. But before you blow your wad on the iRipOff, take a look at what Maddox has to say about the iTurd. If nothing else, the artwork is worth admiring.
Now don't get me wrong, I love Apple and its products - even the iPhone. And I still read all those sites I just dumped on. But I feel I must ask them to please, SHUT THE iHELL UP ABOUT THE iPHONE ALREADY and get back to the Mac, and all the great software out there for OSX.
iPhone image courtesy of Apple, the rest of the B.S. is courtesy of me.
NOTE: Original article has been edited for a typo, and foul language has been (mostly) removed to make it more "family-friendly."
Articles Feed
LMAO
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 06:56 — BillWhite (not verified)iTurd. LOL!
Bravo. Bravo. Bravo. That
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 07:05 — E.T.Cook (not verified)Bravo. Bravo. Bravo.
That is all I can say.
Yyyyeah - kinda have to agree....
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 07:16 — Matt Radel (not verified)It is kind of ridiculous. While I love the iPhone, there is plenty of other Apple news. The iPhone just happens to be an easy target.
Nice resizable comment field by the way.
Excessive iPhone coverage meet excessively profane blog post
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 08:26 — cmfnyc (not verified)I enjoy your blog usually, but found the language in your rant a bit excessive. It's your blog, of course. But to me, posts like this one give blogging a bad name, a sort of Wild West for venomous text. You could have made your point without the crude analogies. To be honest, this post tarnished my respect for this resource.
Wow, you use to like your blog
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 08:46 — TJ (not verified)I used to reccomend this site to people, long before it was thegraphicmac even, now i must take you off my iPhone's RSS reader and my netvibes.
I couldn't disagree more, i love even the smallest rumors, and it's exciting to see Apple taking over the windows mobile and BB industry, especially since i'm the single iPhone user in a large corporate environment ruled by Pocket PC's and BB's.
Sorry to see you let your personal feelings get in the way of good quality posts about graphic design. Instead it should be called the "graphiclanguagemac.com". Shame.
Gagging Like A Cheap Hooker on Friday Night?
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 09:32 — Annonymous Coward (not verified)Well. There's a colorful simile.
Seems a little over the top.
Re: Excessive iPhone coverage meet excessively profane blog post
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 09:59 — David (not verified)I totally agree. Would you want your kids reading this post?
www . jdempsey. com
Bummer
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 10:17 — Timo (not verified)I liked your blog, but I am gone. The subject was fine, but your mouth was not. Off the RSS you go, and I don't even own an iPhone.
"Language" removed.
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 11:59 — JamesI have removed the more "colorful" language from the post because it appears that many of you don't care for it - and this site is of course, FOR YOU.
I spend an obscene amount of time reading & writing in an effort to bring you something you find value in... FOR FREE! I can respect the fact that someone may not like the language I chose to use, but if you choose to leave, so be it.
I value your opinion, and don't mind editing the article to accommodate popular request - but leaving or threatening to leave over something so easily changed isn't going to affect me one way or the other. Perhaps if you contributed something to the site such as articles, forum discussion or even posting a link once in a while, I would feel differently.
Bye James
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 12:09 — Mike (not verified)Subject says it all.
Lighten up people
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 12:11 — Roberto (not verified)I'll agree that the language was a bit over the top. But I've seen MUCH worse on similar sites. Besides, I think the language/metaphors were quite appropriate given my own frustrations with the silly amount of iPhone news the last several months.
This is hilarious
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 12:41 — DanThe article was right on target and couldn't have been more timely. Yes the language was a little rough, but what are we here, a bunch of prudes?
The real shame here is that out of the few hundred articles posted here that you found to be a great resource (by your own admission), you've come across ONE that you don't like and are willing to throw them all away because of two or three swear words and a reference to a hooker gagging.
Personally, I didn't care for the language so much either, but in the context of the article, I was willing to overlook it. That, and I'm also willing to cut James a little slack to vent once in a while.
Let's all please calm down a bit folks
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 13:38 — AaronIs the language a little much? Maybe.
Are all the posts like this? No.
Are the posts here more often helpful than not? Yes.
Will Jim be more selective with his language in the future? Probably.
My opinion on the TOPIC:
There sure is a whole lot of iPhone mania going on. Even keeping track of shipments coming to America on a boat that could possibly be the iPhones. Some of the iPhone stories ARE actually useful though. Like when the pricing details were announced, that's something people would like to know.
I am an iPhone owner, and I think it's great. I didn't spend forever "organizing" my info, it was all synced to my iPhone when I bought, and stays synced effortlessly, which helps me enjoy life. Yay!
Now with the 3G and 2.0 software coming, my boss is thinking about how these phones can be used in our company with some custom software that we develop. So there is much to talk about. BUT not necessarily as much as all the unhelpful random iPhone hoopty-do.
I sure would like to hear more Mac news so it's not all lopsided. But what Mac news is there? Not too much. Snow Leopard is supposedly low on the new features, and it's all about "under-the-hood" enhancements and optimizing. Good news for developers, but maybe not mainstream blog-worthy. What other Mac news? No new systems or software. There is MobileMe, but what's known has been talked about, and until it launches there's nothing more to say about it.
As far as I'm concerned it's all tidal. You get surges of good news and swells of crap. If your RSS reader has too much of stuff you don't care about, then scroll through. If there's nothing to read, then you can go about your day. And maybe don't fret over little things and enjoy life.:)
The iPhone is great
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 18:02 — StevenB (not verified)The iPhone is great, but I'm also prety tired of hearing about it.
Proof is in this post
Wed, 07/02/2008 - 21:58 — TJ (not verified)The amount of replies garnered in this post, and the fact that you took the time to write this post, just goes to show how much hype the iPhone has generated. As far as I am concerned, this blog just feeds into what you are bashing even more.
That's true
Thu, 07/03/2008 - 05:13 — JamesI guess I am contributing to that which I despise (the iPhone hype).
I've never minded the infrequent posting of "news" by bloggers and the media, it's just the mind-numbing volume of "Paris Hilton sighted with iPhone" and "Tic-Tac-Toe game available for iPhone" type of stuff that bugs the heck out of me.
YES!
Thu, 07/03/2008 - 02:40 — Mac != iPhone (not verified)Man, you are so right on this one. I've had it with all the damned so called news about that stupid iTurd (LOL). There's so much to write about the Mac, but all you read nowadays is iPhone this and iPhone that.
I'm from Europe and here it's nothing but iPhone news. Even in the regular media such as newspapers, magazines and even in the news. You can't open any printed media or there's a story or picture about that stupid thing.
It's over hyped, over rated, and now it's just time for it to be over, period!
Dig it, Jimmy muh boy. All
Thu, 07/03/2008 - 06:40 — Phos....Dig it, Jimmy muh boy.
All stories and news about the iPhone needs to be pushed through its own separate intarnet tube, and there needs to be a big fat spigot I can grab to turn the stinky deluge off before it comes into my house and starts flooding my basement.
Oh, and if you want to offend Mean Ol' Uncle Phos.... with your language, you're going to have to try a little harder.
:^)
Sorry...
Mon, 07/07/2008 - 08:51 — PeteI still prefer service over style. I'll stick with my LG 8300 and Verizon. :)
Work With Pete!
This article strikes a
Thu, 07/10/2008 - 07:09 — Brad (not verified)This article strikes a familiarity with me...It reminds me of when you were trying to hype up your new site, which you apparently thought was important enough to keep flooding your own blog with useless posts that drove many of your readers away.
Now, it's something else though. It's something that people actually care about. And you think you'll stand out in the crowd by going against the grain, like some teenager who decides they'll try out the goth look.
Let's face it, you know you would love to have an iPhone, but you have to wait until your contract with Verizon is up.
Can't please everyone...
Sun, 07/13/2008 - 06:59 — JamesIf there's one thing I've learned about blogging, it's that I'm not going to please everyone. Some will want more "edge" to the posts, some not. Some will want more graphics-related tips, some will want more general Mac-related stuff. I take the attitude that I post things that I would want to read.
As far as "going against the grain," isn't that what being a Mac user is about? Or at least, it was when I got started with a Mac. No, I'm not TRYING to go against the grain, I simply think the amount of coverage of the device is gag-inducing.
Do I like the iPhone? Yes. Do I think it's cool? Yes. What does that have to do with the article?
I would love to have an iPhone, but I won't be getting one, because AT&T's contract pricing is obscene for a phone (I don't care who makes it). My contract with Verizon was up three months ago, I'm most likely switching to a family plan with AllTel.
I will be purchasing an iPod Touch though, as soon as the new software/firmware is already installed on the things when I buy it.
Spot on!
Tue, 07/15/2008 - 08:07 — Sigurdur Armansson (not verified)I am not so bothered with all this iPhone hype, but I can fully understand that some are. And I am happy to see that James is not letting people with PC opinions scare him from expressing his feelings and writing in the way he feels right at given moment.
I really enjoyed reading
Tue, 08/05/2008 - 09:50 — JTamI really enjoyed reading this B.S. :D
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